Tuesday, June 25, 2002
Hi all. So far today has been a bit better than yesterday. I didn't get much more sleep than I did the night before, but I feel a little less zombie-ish that I did yesterday at this time.
So BIG news. I got home yesterday to find my headshots waiting in the mailbox for me! I ran into the house, sat at the table, had a minor panic attack and opened the envelope. Inside were two of the best pictures I have ever seen of myself! I was ELATED. They both came out exactly like I wanted and I was actually a little suprised at how well the touch ups look. The pictures are a lot brighter, more clear, and I just about love them to death. I am very proud. I prayed so desperately for these to be good and whether or not anyone else likes them in the world...I do. They give me confidence and they are surely a perfect start to my "career". Gosh...I can't wait until the day when I can say my "career" and mean it seriously. Thank you to everyone for getting me through this whole process. Without you I would have had about 17 mental breakdowns and surely one of them would have destroyed me. Especially you Rita. You have convinced me that I am in fact NOT bald. :-D
I am hungry. And I haven't taken a shit since dinner last night. Where the hell did all that bullshit go? Hopefully right to my ass. I definitely need that.
So we had a GREAT TIME last Friday at Ian's party. The night started off on a rough note (see Saturdays entry for explanation), but ended so well. Rita and I made some new friends and SHMOOZED like it was nobody's business. I drank red wine all night and it was goooood. So good in fact that I spilled a glass of it all over my new pants. Kelly and Rita spent the entire weekend trying every trick in the book to get the stain out and nothing worked. White wine does not always get out red wine. Salt water does not always get out red wine. Shout wipes can fuck off forever.
I met (well...actually second time I met) this guy Rick that night. He is sorta cute. Older, which I like, nice body, but way too small for my tastes, and so fucking pushy that I think he wanted me to knock him out.
He was all over my shit. I explained to him over and over about Paul and he wouldn't let up. Everyone was smoking my cigarettes and Rick left to walk his friend to the subway, only to return with a pack of cigarettes for me. Mind you, he smoked none of them earlier. He kissed me over and over and I just sat there trying to escape. He tried to be sweet, telling me all this bullshit, but the moment was over when he grabbed my dick through my pants. FUCKING ASSHOLES. Someone please tell me WHY gay men do this to other gay men??? This is the second time this has happened to me with douchebags. I lose EVERY OUNCE of respect for a guy when he does that. It's not funny and by the way...get your fucking hand off my dick...which you would never get to touch in any case. UGH. So Rick...33 year old idiot.
Needless to say, I will not be asking Rick to hang out ever in my lifetime. And if he calls me at work (unfortunately he has my work number through Ian), I will be explaining to him how men with no class can go shopping for boys on the corner.
This bitch got class.
One really good thing that happened at the party...
I met this girl named India. (yes all of the gay men at the party sang "Thank you India" to her over and over---and yes,it was superbly annoying) India proceeds to tell me that I am "gorgeous" and makes my night with her sweetness. She was really great. Turns out that she works as an assistant casting director. She told me that a good friend of her "Lamont" is a casting director for As the World Turns.
As soon as I get my reprints done, I will be sending her my resume/pic/cover letter. HOW AMAZING!
It's one direction to pursue. That's for sure. She said that Lamont will "love me". Meaning he will want me to suck his dick.
Baright.
No problem there.
Just as long as he doesn't grab my dick through my pants. THAT is just unclassy.
After the party, Kelly, Rita and I went home to hang at the house and to talk.
It was an amazing night. I had so much fun. It's nice not to have expectations for things, cuz then when it turns out good...the whole night is a BLAST!
K...think that is it for now.
Latas.
So BIG news. I got home yesterday to find my headshots waiting in the mailbox for me! I ran into the house, sat at the table, had a minor panic attack and opened the envelope. Inside were two of the best pictures I have ever seen of myself! I was ELATED. They both came out exactly like I wanted and I was actually a little suprised at how well the touch ups look. The pictures are a lot brighter, more clear, and I just about love them to death. I am very proud. I prayed so desperately for these to be good and whether or not anyone else likes them in the world...I do. They give me confidence and they are surely a perfect start to my "career". Gosh...I can't wait until the day when I can say my "career" and mean it seriously. Thank you to everyone for getting me through this whole process. Without you I would have had about 17 mental breakdowns and surely one of them would have destroyed me. Especially you Rita. You have convinced me that I am in fact NOT bald. :-D
I am hungry. And I haven't taken a shit since dinner last night. Where the hell did all that bullshit go? Hopefully right to my ass. I definitely need that.
So we had a GREAT TIME last Friday at Ian's party. The night started off on a rough note (see Saturdays entry for explanation), but ended so well. Rita and I made some new friends and SHMOOZED like it was nobody's business. I drank red wine all night and it was goooood. So good in fact that I spilled a glass of it all over my new pants. Kelly and Rita spent the entire weekend trying every trick in the book to get the stain out and nothing worked. White wine does not always get out red wine. Salt water does not always get out red wine. Shout wipes can fuck off forever.
I met (well...actually second time I met) this guy Rick that night. He is sorta cute. Older, which I like, nice body, but way too small for my tastes, and so fucking pushy that I think he wanted me to knock him out.
He was all over my shit. I explained to him over and over about Paul and he wouldn't let up. Everyone was smoking my cigarettes and Rick left to walk his friend to the subway, only to return with a pack of cigarettes for me. Mind you, he smoked none of them earlier. He kissed me over and over and I just sat there trying to escape. He tried to be sweet, telling me all this bullshit, but the moment was over when he grabbed my dick through my pants. FUCKING ASSHOLES. Someone please tell me WHY gay men do this to other gay men??? This is the second time this has happened to me with douchebags. I lose EVERY OUNCE of respect for a guy when he does that. It's not funny and by the way...get your fucking hand off my dick...which you would never get to touch in any case. UGH. So Rick...33 year old idiot.
Needless to say, I will not be asking Rick to hang out ever in my lifetime. And if he calls me at work (unfortunately he has my work number through Ian), I will be explaining to him how men with no class can go shopping for boys on the corner.
This bitch got class.
One really good thing that happened at the party...
I met this girl named India. (yes all of the gay men at the party sang "Thank you India" to her over and over---and yes,it was superbly annoying) India proceeds to tell me that I am "gorgeous" and makes my night with her sweetness. She was really great. Turns out that she works as an assistant casting director. She told me that a good friend of her "Lamont" is a casting director for As the World Turns.
As soon as I get my reprints done, I will be sending her my resume/pic/cover letter. HOW AMAZING!
It's one direction to pursue. That's for sure. She said that Lamont will "love me". Meaning he will want me to suck his dick.
Baright.
No problem there.
Just as long as he doesn't grab my dick through my pants. THAT is just unclassy.
After the party, Kelly, Rita and I went home to hang at the house and to talk.
It was an amazing night. I had so much fun. It's nice not to have expectations for things, cuz then when it turns out good...the whole night is a BLAST!
K...think that is it for now.
Latas.
